Foster Parent Guide
Your First Placement
The call is going to come, and it's probably going to come sooner and more suddenly than you expect. Here's how to be ready.
A word from experience: When we got our first placement call, we had about three hours' notice. A child needed a home tonight. We scrambled — looking for the right size clothes, wondering what to feed them, realizing we didn't have the right crib sheets. This guide is everything we wish we'd had organized beforehand. You won't need everything on every list, but having a plan makes all the difference.
📦 Before the Call Comes: Get Ready
You don't need to buy out Target, but having the basics ready means you can focus on the child when they arrive instead of running to the store.
🛏️ Sleeping Space
- ☐A bed with clean sheets (or crib for infants, per safe sleep guidelines)
- ☐A nightlight — many children in care are afraid of the dark
- ☐Extra blankets and a pillow
- ☐A stuffed animal or comfort item (new, just for them)
- ☐A clear, clean space that feels welcoming — not sterile, not cluttered
👕 Clothing (Have a Range of Sizes)
- ☐A few outfits in a range of sizes (you often won't know exact size until they arrive)
- ☐Pajamas
- ☐Underwear and socks (new, unopened packs)
- ☐A coat/jacket appropriate for the season
- ☐Shoes or slippers
- ☐Pro tip: many foster parent groups and agencies have clothing closets — ask before you buy everything
🧴 Hygiene & Care
- ☐Toothbrush and toothpaste (kid-friendly)
- ☐Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash
- ☐Hairbrush or comb (consider different hair types)
- ☐Diapers and wipes (if fostering young children)
- ☐Diaper cream
- ☐For older kids: deodorant, their own towel
🍎 Food & Kitchen
- ☐Simple, kid-friendly foods (mac & cheese, chicken nuggets, fruit, bread — nothing fancy)
- ☐Snacks (crackers, granola bars, applesauce pouches)
- ☐Bottles and formula (if fostering infants — your agency may provide)
- ☐Sippy cups for toddlers
- ☐A plate, cup, and utensils they can call theirs
- ☐Ask about allergies and dietary restrictions when you get the call
🏠 Home Safety (From Your Home Study, but Double-Check)
- ☐Working smoke detectors on every floor
- ☐Carbon monoxide detectors
- ☐Medications, cleaning supplies, and chemicals locked up or out of reach
- ☐Firearms locked in a safe (required in all states)
- ☐Pool/hot tub secured with a fence or cover (if applicable)
- ☐Baby gates for stairs (if fostering young children)
- ☐Outlet covers for toddlers
📁 Documents & Info to Have Ready
- ☐Your agency's after-hours phone number
- ☐Your caseworker's direct contact info
- ☐A folder to keep the child's documents (you'll accumulate a lot)
- ☐Pediatrician info (ask your agency if they have preferred providers)
- ☐A notebook or app to log daily notes (some agencies require this)
- ☐Your foster care license number
📞 When You Get the Call
Your agency will call you when they have a child who needs placement and matches your license (age range, number of children, etc.). You'll get some basic information and you get to decide whether to say yes.
It's always your choice. You can say no. You can ask for more time to think. That said, placements often happen quickly — sometimes the child needs a home tonight.
Questions to Ask on the Call:
- ☐How old is the child? Boy or girl? Are there siblings?
- ☐Why is the child being removed? (They may not be able to share everything, but ask)
- ☐Any known medical conditions, allergies, or current medications?
- ☐Any known behavioral or emotional challenges?
- ☐What school does the child attend?
- ☐Is this expected to be short-term or long-term?
- ☐What's the visitation situation with birth parents?
- ☐Does the child have any belongings coming with them?
- ☐What does the child like? Favorite foods, comfort items, routines?
- ☐Is there anything this child is particularly afraid of?
- ☐Who is the child's caseworker? How do I reach them?
- ☐When will the child arrive?
Reality check: You probably won't get answers to all of these. Caseworkers often have limited information, especially for emergency placements. That's okay. Ask what you can, and fill in the gaps over the first few days.
🌙 The First Night
The first night is about one thing: making the child feel safe. That's it. Don't worry about rules, routines, or the long-term plan. Just be a calm, warm presence.
Keep it simple
Offer food and drink. Show them their room and where the bathroom is. Let them explore at their own pace. Don't overwhelm them with questions or introductions.
Lower expectations
They may not eat. They may not talk. They may cry, or they may shut down completely. They may act out, or they may be eerily compliant. All of these are normal responses to an incredibly scary situation.
Bedtime
Show them their bed. Offer a nightlight. Leave the door open if they want. Tell them where you'll be sleeping. Some children won't sleep much the first night — and honestly, you might not either. That's okay.
If they have belongings
Don't throw anything away, even if it looks old or broken to you. That garbage bag with their stuff? It's everything they have. Treat it with respect. Let them unpack on their own terms.
For you, the foster parent
It's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to feel like you have no idea what you're doing. You probably feel unprepared no matter how much you prepared. That's normal. Take a breath. You showed up. That matters more than you know.
📅 The First Week
Practical Priorities
- ☐Schedule a medical appointment (required within 72 hours to 2 weeks depending on your state)
- ☐Get the child enrolled in school (or confirm they can stay at their current school)
- ☐Fill any prescriptions the child needs
- ☐Stock up on food they like (ask them!)
- ☐Get clothing in the right sizes
- ☐Set up a basic daily routine: meals, bedtime, wake-up time
- ☐Start your daily log if your agency requires one
Emotional Priorities
- ♡Be patient. The child is processing more than you can imagine.
- ♡Don't take challenging behavior personally — it's almost always about what happened before you.
- ♡Give them choices where you can: "Do you want the blue cup or the green cup?" Small choices = control.
- ♡Let them call you whatever they're comfortable with (Mr./Ms., first name, etc.)
- ♡Talk to your own kids (if you have them) about what to expect and how to be welcoming.
- ♡Reach out to your support system — other foster parents, your caseworker, friends who get it.
- ♡It's okay to call your caseworker with questions. That's what they're there for.
💡 Things Nobody Tells You
The "honeymoon period" is real
Many children are on their best behavior at first. When they start testing boundaries, it actually means they're starting to feel safe enough to be themselves. That's progress, even when it doesn't feel like it.
Grief can look like anger
A child screaming that they hate you might really be saying they miss their mom. A child refusing to eat might be too anxious to feel hungry. Behavior is communication.
You will question everything
"Am I doing this right? Should I have said that differently? Is this child okay?" This is normal. The fact that you're reflecting means you care, and that's what this child needs.
The paperwork is real
Medical appointments, court dates, visitation schedules, caseworker visits, daily logs — there's a lot of logistical overhead. Get a good system (calendar, folder, notebook) early.
You might grieve too
Even if a child is only with you briefly, you may grieve when they leave. This is not a weakness — it's proof that you gave a child what they needed: someone who cared.